Wednesday 18 August 2010

N is for Nightmares

My fear of the nighttime, or more specifically being alone at night began as a kid. We lived in an older house and as the house settled I could hear it creak and pop, and those creaks and pops sounded justly like someone was breaking into our house, walking the hallway, and slowly turning my door knob.

Even as I grew older and knew what the noises were I still could not help but let me imagination wonder. Usually, a vivid imagination is a good thing. I certainly appreciate mine as it has led me to write poems and short stories. But at night, my imagination running wild was not a good thing. I could not stop myself from imaging the horrible things that the  noises or shadows could be. I was older, I should know better. Yet, I was older and had watched more serial killer movies and TV shows like CSI.

I grew more afraid of the dark when I overheard someone mention gang shootings. As I recall, gang initations were taking place that required the wannabe gangsters to drive around with their lights off and shoot at the cars who flashed their lights at them.  I was terrified to ride in a car at night, and once I was in high school, would always call a friend to talk to on dark drives home.

As I went off to college, I was alone more frequently and my fear of the nighttime began to subside. However, there were the occasional nights when, my roomate was gone, or later, Mr. Groom had gone out with a few buddies, and a strange noise would catch my imagination and run wild with it.

I've not had any nights like that in Korea, until a few nights ago, with Mr. Groom laying right beside me. I think that I had not had any night terrors because there is nothing to fear here. There are no guns, no crime,  and often as I lay in bed, children are still out playing in the streets. The terror I experienced the other night happend after I woke up from a dream where I was at home and alone.

Thankfully, I'd found a Bible verse a few weeks ago and used it to quickly calm my nerves and return to bed. Now, thanks to this verse, I am fully prepared to return home and face the night.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

3 comments:

  1. There is little as disturbing as waking up to noises in the middle of the night, or waking up in terror from a bad dream. Comfort always seems far, far away, doesn't it??? I'm glad you found something to help ....

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  2. I still sleep with a nightlight, if that tells you anything... I can easily flip myself out - one little noise and my mind starts going wild!

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  3. I am a big weenie, when my husband is at night school I have to leave the light in the hall on till he gets home.
    I am following you from the Trendy Treehouse and I would love a follow back!
    http://mommysexton.blogspot.com/

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