She's Not Talking to a Foreigner

In addition to cashering and freelance writing I work part time in customer service for a local paper. This mostly involves talking with irritable people for 7.5 hours a day.

Here is a most recent example, I swear this lady had an evil agenda when she picked up the phone:

Me: Company's Name, How may I help you?

Bitchy Woman: You sound like you're from a different state.

Me: (Opens my mouth to explain that I may sound far away because I've been having phone trouble)

BW: Where are you located? Are you even in PA?

Me: Yes Ma'am. I'm in Greensburg Pa.

BW: You don't sound like it.

Me: I'm sorry. How can I help you today?

BW: I want to order a subscription for a friend but I don't know if you have delivery there. She's in Friendlyville.

Me: I can check for you. Whats the zipcode?

BW: Are you even in PA?

Me: Yes ma'am, I'm in Greensburg.

BW: Do you even know where Friendlyville is?

Me (considers honesty as the best policy) : No, ma'am I don't.

BW: How are your from Greensburg and not know where Friendlyville is?

Me: Ma'am, I'm not from Greensburg but I am in Greensburg.

BW: You just told me you were in PA! What's the name of the Director of Circulation of the Pittsburgh Trib?

Me: Ma'am I don't know their name but there are some managers in my office, whose names I do know that I could transfer you to if you'd like.

BW: How do you not know their name?

ME: Just  a minute ma'am. I'll see if I can find out. (I place caller on hold and ask around my office. No one knows  the name of the Director of Circulation. The Director doesn't handle customer service but the technical side of circulation and is in  an office an hour away from mine) Ma'am I'm not sure what their name is.

BW: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU WORK FOR?

ME: I don't know the name of the director of circulation ma'am. Would you like to speak with the director ma'am. I can transfer you.

BW: YES! I'M TIRED OF TALKING TO A FOREIGNER.

Yeah......I'm pretty sure she could use a field trip to Friendlyville. I

I Have More Street Smarts Than You Care to Admit

Certain people in my life (namely my father, sister and husband) are always getting on me because I like to read and the fact that I'm a little short changed when it common sense, and in fact they tend to form a relationship between the two which I think is dumb of them but anyway. I am not known for my street smarts, but I may have proven a few people wrong yesterday.

Here's the dealio:

A man got into my line and his total came to $2.12 and he  handed me a $100 bill. I checked it and started to count out his change.

He stopped me and took back the $100 bill and put it in his pocket and said he had the $2.12 instead****.

Then he says to me that he doesn't have the $2 but gave me the 12 cents and asked me for $98 change instead. So I  count out the $98 and set it on top of my register (At this point I knew what was going on and waas making sure to be extra cautious). I asked him for the $100 bill.

He told me he gave it to me. I said no you didn't. He told me to look in the bottom of my drawer, that he watched me out it there. I put my hand over the changed and quickly flipped through the bills.  I told him I put it there when he first handed it to me and then he put it in his pocket and never gave it back to me.

He handed me $2 and left.

**** Indicates when I first realized what was happening. Bells went off in my head beacause I read an article about how conartists try to swindle hot dog vendors out of extra cash by confusing them about what bills were given to them by trading the money back and forth a lot during the transaction

1 Mrs. BOOK SMARTS 0 Mr. Street Smart Loser

Take that!